In-Class+Stories

Here are some samples of the in-class stories from January the 20th's class.

I've added my finishing statements (all written on the fly in as much time as I gave you) to them.

If you're bored, add your own!

Something really embarrassing that happened to me in my life was the time I spilled my teacher's coffee mug in Grade 7. I was putting together some pages for an essay I wrote and needed a stapler. I went up to the teacher's desk and as I grabbed for the stapler, I knocked over his mug of coffee which spilled all over his desk.

= And if I ever did this to Professor Jones, I would be guaranteed to fail! :)

One time, as I was walking down the hall of the University, I stumbled upon a folded piece of paper….

I slouch at my kitchen table; what the heck am I going to write for this twelve page term paper? Research – crumpled paper – and encyclopaedias devour the table…

= …perhaps I should have paid more attention in class! :)

“1264 Bay St. 10:30PM. Come alone”

= Shit. What day?!?

One afternoon, I was standing at a crosswalk and began crossing. I looked left and saw a truck barrelling down on me…

= … luckily I was in Britain and they drive on the other side.

A friend of mine and I were late for our group meeting. We rushed to his car jumped in and the car wouldn’t work… yeah, pretty fucked, right?

= … oddly, the reason was the car wouldn’t start was that it was crashed into a wall in front of the bar we just stepped out of. Guess the AA meeting will just have to go on without us.

The fact that someone’s is reading this is embarrassing enough. But having to explain to my Mom the reasons why I failed a class because of my uncontrollable crush on Professor McGruff…

= will not repeat this year, at least. Not with this guy! :P

The six of us got into the van. We sparked a joint and passed it around. It was 11PM and the parking lot was empty. The joint got passed to me. I was about to enjoy my toke when I saw red and blue lights flashing in my rear view mirror…

= daaamn… knew I shouldn’t have dropped that hit before getting in the van!

This one day I went to smoke a joint with friends we were in a car and then the cops pulled up….

= … they had a TV crew in the back seat. FOX contract for my own reality show, here I come!

It was just past midnight when she woke me up. “Hey, wake up! I’m back – you need to try this!” got my attention and soon enough I was sitting in the living room looking at the bag of white powder. Something didn’t seem right to me, but I didn’t care…

= … granny always was a bit of a kook and Dad always said “Just do what she says…”

In a land, somewhere in the distant future, where human-beings could no longer co-exist, one man would rise to save the human race…

= Unfortunately, it was Rob Ford…. The human race was fucked.

I was at home playing my drums and I placed my cell phone on top of my computer so it wouldn’t bother me. I got thirsty, so I got a glass of apple juice and rested in beside my computer…

= … I wish someone would have told me my mom had to return a urine sample to the doctors tomorrow…

There are so many things in this world that are worth smiling about. But there are so many more things worth crying about, worth fighting about, and ultimately, worth writing about….

= … I wish these were one of them :) (lol jks. Like it)

One word to describe my experience would be: Embarrassing. Due to the consequences I faced which led to termination of my position at my workplace….

= … I redefined the meaning of “Workplace Shrinkage”

She asked me to park my car around the corner, and then snuck me in through the back door of her house… “What the fuck, I thought coming over is cool….” I said. “ya, ya, don’t worry, just come upstairs” she replied. She then quickly pulled me into her room and locked the door…

= … imagine my embarrassment when I came too, her parents standing over me tied naked to a bed and looking out the window to see my car no longer where I parked it. “It was your daughter, I swear! She did this too me!”… Her father looked coldly down at me and snorted “we don’t have a daughter…”